Nostalgia
Written by Kaura Grande
The world is changing around me
and not for the better
I long for screen-less nights
filled with words from
the fairy tale book
my mother would read us
stacked three deep in a king-sized bed
making shapes in the shadows
her voice carrying us to faraway kingdoms
a princess
a prince
a bit of pixie dust
when we would walk through the gates
of Disneyland and our dreams came true
I long for days spent in the sun
nights spent catching bugs
swimming in the pool with its color-changing light
jumping off the tops of slides
doing summersaults and cartwheels
I long for the magic that we created
not magic created for us.
The world is changing around me
And I don’t know how to change with it
I resent the access to connectivity
it’s all fake
curated
painful
it’s not real
and I refuse to learn how to rely
on a box full of nonsense that tracks my location
and listens to me talk without my consent
I long for conversations
unencumbered by a blue light
instead, give me fairy lights in the dark
and look at me
I am right here
what you have in your hands is not real
but I am.
The world is changing around me
and look at what we have done
how is it that we create things
to make life easier and yet no one
knows how to relax anymore
my friends are in the twenties and they have
grey hair
wrinkles
ulcers
debt
scars
from the depression
the anxiety
the suffering
the pain
they are dying
and no one can fix it.
I am angry
Because the world is changing around me
and I can’t find a way to make it stop
I want to slow it down
bring back the fairies and the pixie dust
tuck me back into bed
Mom, please come read me a story
I promise I won’t interrupt
I long for deeper breaths
holding hands for longer
for painless sleep not inhibited by insomnia
throw away the damn phones
if just for tonight
see each other
really see each other
there can still be magic there
so hear me scream
it is not okay
and it never will be
and that is okay
because in this chaos
we can hold on to each other.
Damnit, I can’t stop the world
from changing around me.
